Final Goodbyes, Thank You's and Thoughts

Mom told us some time ago that when it was her time to go, not to mourn her passing, but to celebrate her life. "Don't sit around and cry for me, instead throw a party and celebrate for me" she said. And at the time, when she was healthy and going strong, it was an easy thing to agree with. After all, she had lived her life and prepared herself for judgement day for as long as we all have known her. If anyone was going straight to heaven it was her and how can you not celebrate that. How could you not be happy that she was to be reunited with all her loved ones who went before her? How can you not smile when you imagine that perhaps her and Dad may just be dancing in heaven? Well, it wasn't the first time we didn't completely listen to our Mother, but at least we got the celebrating part right.

I got my hair cut Thursday by the same person who had been to the funeral home to do Mom's hair the day before. She told me we were going to be very pleased with how Mom looked and she was right. The funeral home did an awesome job. Actually, they did an awesome job throughout the entire service. We were very pleased with the complete arrangements. Mom had requested that the visitation be held in the church and we were glad we did. It was nice to have the room to spread out and take our time to visit with everyone who attended. Friday was an emotionally trying day, as we knew it would be. Saying your final goodbyes to your Mother is heart wrenching at best, at any age. The service was very nice and the meal the ladies at the church put on was great. Thank you to anyone who participated in any way during the services.

It's been almost 18 years since Dad died and we've been fortunate not to lose anyone in our immediate family since. You tend to forget just how much it means when people go out of their way to show their respects for your loss. Many of you, especially those who had to come from out of state, made a real effort to attend. This meant a lot to us. Thank you so much to all who attended or sent flowers and cards. Also for the many phone calls and even text messages. We truly appreciate all of this. Speaking of the flowers and plants, wow, pretty impressive for a non Italian family!

It's unfortunate that Mom didn't make it to her 80th birthday. We had planned quite a party for her to coincide with the golf outing this year. We will still have the golf outing as planned, on July 18th. Her birthday is on the 19th. This year we will call it the Ray & Dorothy Broerman Memorial Golf Outing. You are all invited to attend as we keep Mom's wishes in celebrating her life. We certainly will do that on this weekend. The pre party and fireworks will be at Ed's place on Friday and the post party at Bob's on Saturday. Make your reservations and join us.

As for this blog, so many of you thanked me for keeping you up to date throughout Mom's illness. Thank you for all the nice comments. I hope it was just as much therapy to read as it was to write. Many of you said you looked for new updates every day, well, we looked for new comments from all of you every day also. It was so nice to read how much you all cared and to be able to pass those comments on to Mom. I'm glad that it gave many of you an avenue to say to her how she had touched your lives. And thank you for all the prayers for her and for all of us, it certainly meant more than you know. A few of you suggested that I keep this up and post to it every now and then, perhaps I will, but in reality this is probably my final post. But as Mom always said 'Never say Never'.

So, once again, on behalf of the entire Broerman family 'Thank You' to all of you for everything you did for all of us. Take care, Jim

'Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world seemed right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance'

Arrangements

The arrangements are set for Mom's funeral. Her funeral will be at 10:30 a.m. Friday at St. Mary's Catholic Church, Pontiac. Visitation will be from 4 to 8 p.m. Thursday at the church, where a rosary will be recited at 3:30 p.m. Burial will be at St. Mary's Catholic Cemetery, Pontiac. Duffy Funeral Home, Pontiac, is in charge of arrangements. Online condolences may be made at duffyfuneralhome.com.

We had originally set the arrangements not to start until 3 days later with the hope that Karen and Bill would be able to get Christopher home from Afghanistan. Unfortunately, this is not going to happen. He will not be released to come home for this.

Here are phone numbers for the local hotels if anyone should need to stay overnight.

Comfort Inn (815) 842-2777
Holiday Inn (815) 844-4444
Super 8 (815) 844-6888
3 Roses Bed & Breakfast (815) 844-3404 (1 block from church)

Heaven has a new Angel

It is my very sad duty to report to you all that Mom passed away at 4:30 a.m. this morning. She had such a tough time the last couple of days and mercifully the Lord has ended her suffering and called her home. We know she is in a better place now.

The arrangements aren't fully complete, but we are looking at having a visitation on Thursday evening and the funeral Friday morning. Karen and Bill's son Christopher is stationed in Afghanistan and they are making contact to bring him home. This will take a minimum of 48 hours. I will confirm these times and let you know as soon as I can.

Many of you know that I have been involved with the Elks Lodge here in Pontiac for the past 17 years or so. Whenever a member dies we honor them at the next meeting. Although Mom was not an Elk, these words are etched in my mind this morning. I don't think they will mind much if I use them for her today.

'In vain we call. She has passed into the light which is beyond the valley of the shadow of death. The places that have known her shall know her no more; but her virtues are written upon the tablets of love and memory.'

Rest in peace dear Mom, our love for you will go on forever. Jim

A Remarkable Woman

Mom is still hanging on and little has changed. She is so uncomfortable. It is so hard to watch her go through this. The dying process takes a pace of it's own. But, through all of this, she is still the sweet and gentle woman we have always known.

How does she maintain her caring nature through this? Few of us would avoid bad temperament. No one could blame her if she just plain cursed the situation she is in and took it out on those around her. Many times, I think, this is what happens and families have to remind themselves of what the patient is going through. This is not the case here. She just doesn't complain. When she does speak it is full of 'please' and 'thank you'. She tells everyone that helps her 'I love you'. And she prays. Her rosary is right beside her and she reaches for it often.

So now, even in death, she is teaching us and setting an example. We are truly blessed to have her.

Caregiving

When you have 12 children chances are a lot of things you need in life can be facilitated by one of us. Mom and Dad helped prepare us in many different ways. Between the two of them a whole set of skills were passed down. Whatever additional skills we learned were enhanced with their morals and values instilled in us, (even if at times we may not have thought we needed them lol). Those traits are evident in all of their siblings families too.

But, there is one skill that in these final months, weeks, days and hours that Mom has relied on, maybe more than any other in her life. It's strange how the timing of things happen and how things work out. It makes you wonder if it's help that comes from above. It just so happened that at the same time Mom would need someone by her side to assist with health care, her daughter with nursing skill would be taking leave of that field and be able to move in with her.

I just wanted to take the time before Mom passes and we end this blog, to thank Becky for what she has done for Mom the last couple of months. I am sure I'm safe in saying on behalf of everyone who loves Mom "Thank You Becky!" She has gone above and beyond the call and has shown true compassion, patience and love. She has been a God Send for all of us and Mom has been well taken care of. I know Becky does not look for recognition in this and considers it a privilege to have been able to do it. I also know there has been a comfort level for Mom too, with having one of her own children taking care of her. Thanks again Becky, we all love you.

Time getting scarce

Time is getting more scarce now. The hospice nurse put mom on oxygen yesterday and had a hospital bed brought in today. She is taking very little nourishment. She is off most of her medication now and is taking morphine. She is still alert when not sleeping and is talking, although her voice is very weak. Her spirit is still good and she is trying hard to visit with everyone who stops to see her. Her left lung is completely incapacitated with fluid now and is making breathing difficult sometimes.

Sorry for the bad report, but I know everyone is concerned. I'll let you know if there are anymore changes. Keep those prayers coming. Jim

Paged Dr. Hough last night

Stopped by Mom's last night after work and she was still down and out. It's surprising for her to go from one extreme on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, where she was doing as good as she has in the last month, to Thursday, Friday and Saturday where she is as sick as she has been since she was in the hospital.

Becky and I discussed more of what made her feed so good on those days vs. what caused the turnaround to this. Last weekend she was suffering with the bad rash and on Sunday she was started on prednisone. On Tuesday we took her to Dr. Hough and he gave her a shot of cortisone for the rash and told us we could stop the prednisone.

We had Dr. Hough paged last night and spoke to him about it. He said the shot would not have caused this and actually should have helped. We talked about how well she did after being on the prednisone for a few days he said to start her back up on it. It will stimulate her appetite and he also called in a liquid prescription to help the appetite also. It was clearly the fact that she started eating more last week that was making her so strong, just as it is clear that she only had 2 pieces of toast and one Popsicle from Thursday though Saturday and she has gotten so weak. I just now called Becky and Mom took 2 pills last night and was having some toast this morning. Becky said she did look a little better this morning. Her rash is going away also.

Lets pray that these pills are the answer to keeping her hungry and strong. As Dr. Hough made sure to point out that our goal here is to keep her comfortable to the end and if this is what does it then lets keep her on it. Take care, Jim

Ups and Downs

After a few really good days Mom has been feeling a little worse the last couple. Her appetite and strength have diminished since Wednesday night. She has been sleeping nearly nonstop. On Tuesday she had a shot for her rash and was taken off the pills she was taking for this. This probably has a lot to do with the change. All these different medications take their toll on her as she doesn't tolerate most of them very well. She did wake up last night and ask for some food so I hope she is adjusting and getting her appetite back now.

Aunt Betty, Doug and his wife were up to visit. Unfortunately Mom was not very good company for them as she struggled to stay awake during their visit. They did come out to the store and I got to chat with them for awhile. Aunt Betty looks great and it was nice to see them.

Lets hope for a better weekend for Mom. Take care, Jim

Can't believe how strong she's getting

I'm at Mom's now for a visit and she looks great. Her voice is strong and she is much more alert. She is starting to look like she did about 10 days after we got her home from Texas before she started any procedures. I said Mom you just look like you feel better, she said she really did.

The Hospice nurse was in yesterday and the first thing she did was make an appointment for Mom to get a shot for her rash. Dr. Hough gave her the shot and then took her off one of the medicines the hospital put her on. He said that it was having a reaction with one of her other pills and causing the rash. Mom says she thinks it is already having a positive effect.

Becky is back now and met with a Hospice nurse that stopped by today. Everything is all set up now and a schedule has been made. With the medicine straightened out and the hives on the way out we are expecting Mom to feel much better in the coming days. Keep those prayers coming, it appears they are having an effect.

Aunt Betty and cousin Doug are coming for a visit tomorrow. Aunt Betty is Dad's brothers widow. Mom is looking forward to this visit also, I think all these visits must be helping. She seems to do better after every one. Take care, I'll write again soon. Jim

A Little Stronger In Spite Of It All

Even though her cough is still bad and she has developed some sort of rash or hives, Mom actually seems to be a little stronger this weekend. I've been there the last several evenings and her voice is stronger and her overall demeanor seems more upbeat. She has been eating better than she has for awhile now and I'm sure that has to be helping. She says her appetite is better. She also has been sleeping much better at night.

Tomorrow morning she has an appointment at 10:30 with the Home Health nurse who will then sign off. Then at 1:00 she has her first visit with a Hospice nurse. We are anxious to have them both look at this rash and see what else may be available to get rid of it. Hoping perhaps they have some better ideas to calm her cough also. I'm sure the cough is due to the fluid in the lower left lung, so it will probably always be there. It's sometimes hard to remember that this is not a cough due to cold that will go away.

Mom had a visit today from Aunt Rita, Alvin, Linda and Leo. It was so great to see them all. We watched an old home video from '73, Mikes First Communion, with Uncle Hap and Aunt Bert and kids and Aunt Irene and Uncle Clete. Also was video from '74, Peg and Larry's wedding, with a whole bunch of cousins and Aunt Pauline. No sound to this but what a hoot it is to see. This was the trip that turned into an extra night as they didn't get out of Illinois on the first try, they ended up back here with a couple of chickens. Haha. I tried to upload it to this blog without success. I will try to figure it out soon.

I will try to update tomorrow night to let you know how these visits go. Jim

Golf Outing '04

Golf Outing '03

Mom on Mother's Day

That damn cough......

If they could just get rid of her cough! Unfortunately it's here to stay I'm afraid. Monday night Mom took a pill to calm her stomach and also a stronger new cough medicine. Tuesday morning she was able to keep her toast down. This was the first solid food she was able to tolerate since Saturday afternoon. She also slept better Monday night. The Home Health nurse was there Tuesday morning when I stopped by to get Mom's car to run out to the airport. The nurse suggested that Mom take the cough medicine morning, noon and night. She had only been using it at night to help her sleep. She looked 100% better than she did the night before. We were very worried for her by bed time Monday.

I picked Aunt Irene, Uncle Clete and Mike up at the airport in Pontiac for their visit Tuesday morning. Mom was so happy to see them, it was sad it had to end. They had a nice hour and a half visit before it was time to for them to go. Hey Mike, impressive little plane you guys came over in!

Well, Mom stayed on the new stomach calming pill and new stronger cough medicine until today. (pretty non technical as I don't know the names of them, lol) She broke out in hives. One or both probably caused a reaction so she is off both. Hopefully she didn't need that pill anymore anyway, but the cough medicine did help more than the old. It will be interesting to see if she can sleep as good tonight. Mom said tonight that if she stays still and doesn't talk she coughs less. But when she starts coughing it is intense. Every week it is getting worse.

Monday she is expecting visitors again as Aunt Rita and Linda are coming out for a visit. Again, Mom is looking forward to this. It gives her something to look forward to, and she truly likes to see everyone. Of course she wishes she could entertain and cook for them.

When the home health care nurse was there she contacted the hospice folks and it was decided to keep the appointment for next Tuesday. Home Health care will sign off and hand Mom over to Hospice that day. Perhaps they will have some new ideas to better control this persistent cough.

Happy Memorial Day everyone. Have a good weekend and when you say your daily prayer for Mom remember to add another for our troops and all the veterans. Jim

It's time for Hospice

Mom is having a tough week. She started feeling sick to her stomach Saturday evening and has been getting worse since. Yesterday she had only chicken broth, and very little at that. She couldn't keep it down, she is getting weaker and more tired. The home health care nurse will be in tomorrow to see her. The doctor ordered medicine to calm her stomach tonight. I hope that helps and lets her get a good nights sleep.

Today we contacted hospice. We hope to meet with them in the next couple of days. Becky is leaving tomorrow to go back home to Milwaukee for a week and we had planned to have this meeting next Tuesday when she got back. Tonight we have decided not to wait. I will call them in the morning and ask to meet with them as soon as possible. At this point it is hard to know if Mom is experiencing a set back or a progression. The local hospice is a good, well managed chapter and we feel Mom is in need of more in home attention. I will let you know the outcome of this.

On a brighter note, Mom is expecting a VIP visit tomorrow also. Her sister Irene is coming for a visit and Mom is looking forward to it. This is just what she needs to boost her spirits. I just love how close Mom, Aunt Irene and Aunt Lucile are and we appreciate their families for taking time to bring them for these visits. It's the best prescription for her right now. When I told Mom Irene was coming she smiled and said "She will just make me laugh".

I will post again in a couple of days, take care. Jim

A Message from Mom

It's Friday morning and Becky, Mike and I are at Mom's. Becky has set up an Internet connection here and has her notebook computer logged on. This is the first time Mom has been able to view this blog. We are showing her some of the comments to her and she said she wanted to post a message of her own.

Mom says, "Thank you so very much to everyone for all the cards, calls, comments, visits and prayers. All of these mean so much to me and I appreciate them greatly. I hope everyone is well. I love you all."

Mother's Day and beyond.......

Her approach throughout her life has been to establish a routine. A good routine keeps everything organized. You cannot raise 12 kids, work, run a household, be a good wife and mother and keep yourself mentally organized without a good routine. With every new child, with every relocation, with every obstacle, she has been able to organize her day to get the most out of it. I've often observed that she is a woman who can get more done by noon than most people do all day.

Her day was never set in stone though, it couldn't be. There was always something that came up, someone who needed her. She always found the time to help anyone in need and with 12 kids, someone always needed her. Before she had her own children raised she was well on her way to helping with her grandchildren. She simply adjusted the routine. Helping with her grandchildren turned into helping with her great-grandchildren. Somehow, every generation that has come along has found comfort and solace in her arms. She was born to be a mother. She truly is a remarkable woman. On Mother's Day we all try to shower her with gifts to show our affection. Now more than ever we realize what a gift she has been to all of us!

Happy Mother's Day mom.

Now it is time for a new routine. Her day consist of rest and medication. Mom's biggest issue right now is her cough. It's persistent and is causing discomfort. She didn't sleep well last night because of it. Today she got a new prescription for it. She took the first pill this evening and it seems to help a little. We'll know better tomorrow if it's gonna work. Other than that she is getting along as well as she can. Her body is working hard to fight the infection and it requires her to get a lot of rest. A Home Health Care nurse stopped in on Tuesday to check up on her and will be in every week now.

Now that she is home things have calmed a bit for her, therefore I have had less to report. I will give updates every few days. The best gifts Mom had on Mother's day were a visit from her sister Lucille and a phone call Karen's son Chris from Afghanistan. She was beaming after both of these. Chuck and Teri came up from Texas to visit and most of her children and grandchildren withing driving distance were here to visit. Dad's brother Ves and Aunt Jo are here now for a couple days. Becky is staying with her after a trip home for a few days. She is in good hands. Take care and check back in a few days. Jim

Friday Dr. Morar visit

Pat, Bob, Becky and I met with Mom's oncologist Dr. Morar this morning. We discussed the biopsy results and she explained some of what is going on with the cancer and the infection in the lung.

First let me correct some of the information from the last blog. I was out of town for the meeting with Dr. Hough (primary care MD) and Dr. Preohl (surgeon) so I'm not entirely clear on what they said, but Dr. Morar explained it a little differently. She said that the tumor hasn't really increased in size, but it is blocking circulation and air flow to the upper chamber of the lung. Also, it has blocked about 40% of the bronchial tube to the lower chamber. She would not commit that the tumor is totally necrotic, only that the biopsy samples they got were. She further disagreed that the lung would become necrotic. Without good samples they are unable to diagnose. No diagnosis equals no treatment as she would not know which drugs to use. They got a lot of samples during the biopsy, just no good ones. If they had known this, they would have had the pathologist present during the biopsy checking the samples til they got what he needed. The only way to know now is another biopsy, but were not sure she can withstand another.

The other problem is an infection mass in the upper lobe. This showed up on a CT scan Wednesday morning. It was not there, in it's present form, a week ago. She is not sure what it is, she only says that it is not cancer. She said it could even be a fungus pocket. We will need to discuss this further. Direct injections to this may be a possibility. Again, were not sure if she could withstand the procedure. Right now she needs to get some rest and get her strength back. The home health folks are going to stop by tomorrow to set up service for her. Have a good weekend, Jim

Life is giving Lemons........

I've often wondered, over the last couple of months, how would I approach really bad news on this blog. How much info should someone really put out on a forum like this. This blog actually started because we have such a large family and the first few phone calls were difficult in terms of who has been called, who hasen't, etc. Even some of the information was getting sketchy as it was passed from one to another. We simply wanted family and friends to have a single point of contact to get the news both somewhat timely and, for the most part, accurate.

I've heard from many of you, especially out of town and state folks, that this has been very helpful and comforting at times. My dilemma then becomes what type of info should be given by phone calls first. Of course Mom's 12 kids will always get a call before it appears here. I worry that if someone receives bad news here first, feelings may well be hurt. I absolutely want to avoid this. Having said all that, here is an update.

Mom is home as of last night. She did not get the medi port installed and likely never will. Dr. Preohl beleives she is much to weak for the surgery. Dr. Hough arrived during this conversation with news of the biopsy results. He informed Mom and Becky and Dr. Preohl that the samples taken from the tumor in her lung were necrotic, dead. The tumor has grown so rapidly that it has completely cut off the blood supply to itself. As this tumor is at the entrance to the lung it has therefore cut off blood flow to the lung as well. The lung will then become necrotic also. A new infection has shown up in the lung and without flow of blood to it, there is no way to get anti-biotics to it. The consensus was to send her home last night.

Pretty heavy stuff huh? There is an appointment set for tomorrow, Friday, with Dr. Morar. Mom is not up to going to this, but I do want to hear her take on all of this. So, a few of us are going to meet with her. I will let you know how that goes. Mom is resting and is glad to be out of the hospital. She is very weak and needs a lot of rest for the next few days.

This is all for now, if anything changes I will let you know. Take care, Jim

Medi Port Wednesday?

Mom is back in her room at St. James tonight, of course she's watching Dancing with the Stars. They have a surgical wrap on her side and back where they did the biopsy and she's taking some pain medication for that. She's says she is feeling fine. This is the side she likes to sleep on so I'm not sure how comfortable she will be through the night.

Ann say's she did so well today because she had her favorite daughter with her......I'm probably gonna give credit to the surgeon.

They had her in the CT scanner to locate the spots they wanted to biopsy and then would have her take breaths and pull her back out and mark the spots. After several movements in and out they had her all lined up. Mom said she could hear them during the proceedure but didn't feel a thing. She said it went so fast she had to ask if they were done already. The ride there and back in the ambulance was not uncomfortable. The discomfort from that will come with the bill, lol.

Two things could happen Wednesday. They may install the medi port and they may send her home. At this point it could be both, one or none. We will know soon enough I guess. Friday is the appointment with Dr. Morar to hear the results of this biopsy. Pray, Pray, Pray! I leave for Chicago in the morning for a couple days of meetings. I will update when I get back. Have a great week everyone! Jim

Biopsy Complete, Doing Well

Becky called a little while ago to report that Mom is done with the biopsy proceedure. They need to keep her down at St. Joseph's for 2 hours and then take an x-ray to be sure the lung did not collapse. She will then be transported by ambulance back to St. James in Pontiac.

Becky said she did fine but was in a little pain. She was to get pain medication shortly. They used a cat scan to pinpoint the exact areas they wanted to biopsy and were successful in getting what they wanted.

Now we wait until Friday morning when Mom meets with Dr. Morar to hear the results. Take care, Jim

Out of ICU and looks Great!

This morning Mom was moved from ICU to a regular room down the hall. She rested well after being moved and is enjoying company early this afternoon. She looks like her old self again. They have been taking great care of her and it shows.

Tomorrow morning they will load her up in the ambulance around 8 a.m. and transport her to St. Joseph's in Bloomington for the needle biopsy at 11 a.m. They will bring her back to Pontiac afterwards. We have not heard what the plan is after that. Hopefully she will accept the biopsy better than she did the fluid drain. If she's doing as well after this proceedure as she is today, maybe she will get to go home.

I will update again tomorrow after the biopsy to let you all know how it went. Jim

She's Mobile

Off oxygen, off iv's, on portable monitors, She's Mobile. She had a bath and her hair washed, Ann is there to style it for her this afternoon. She is overall doing much, much better. She's been getting a few good nights sleep, well as good as you can get when your in icu and the nurses wake you up to draw blood, etc.

She just needs to get the rest of the infection out of her system and get the white blood count back down. She still has shortness of breath and can't go too far, but she can go!

Being off oxygen was for just awhile this afternoon. Tonight it is back on and they have started another iv anti-biotic. She had a busy day today.

All your prayers are working, keep it up. Jim

Keeping her through the weekend

Dr. Hough was in to see Mom and has decided to keep her in the hospital through the weekend at least. She is scheduled to have a biopsy done at St. Joseph's Hospital in Bloomington Monday morning. They will transport her there by ambulance from St. James.

They have her on an iv anti-biotic and have given her a couple units of blood. She is taking new heart medicine and is given pills to help her sleep at night. She looks much better tonight as we watched American Idol. She is still weak from everything but is alert and getting her appetite back. The primary reason to keep her for now is to clear up the infection in her lung and to monitor her heart on the new medication, which seems to be doing fine. My guess is that she will be home soon after the biopsy and will be up and around again.

For right now it is rest, rest, rest.

No Surgery Tomorrow

Dr. Proehl came in to see Mom early this evening and spoke to her about the surgery to install the medi port. As her white blood count has risen he knows there is infection somewhere. He had a blood sample drawn and it is not in her blood. He checked all other scans, urine etc., and believes it may be pneumonia. His concern is that there is a chance he could get some of the infection on the port. If this happens and she returns with a high fever they may have to remove/replace the port. He was not yet aware that she was going to have a new biopsy performed next Monday with the results not coming in until about Thursday. At that point he said there was absolutely no way she should take a chance with this. He will contact Dr. Morar and speak to her about it, then reschedule the surgery for later.

They did prescribe an iv antibiotic and started that tonight. Also, later (after dancing with the stars, lol) she will get another iv that will help her sleep through the night. She was having pain in her back so they also gave her a pill for that. Hopefully with all of this she will get a long night of sleep she so desperately needs. Sweet Dreams Mom!!!!

Brain Scan Clear - Biopsy Not

Pat, Peg, Bob, Becky, Karen, Tim, Boomer and I all listened on speaker phone as Dr. Morar called to explain test results. First was the good news that the brain scan came back clear. We were all relieved to get this news.

The frustration level increased significantly as we spoke about the cancer though. Unfortunately we still do not have an answer on the type of cancer she has in her lung. We only know that the lung, bronchial tube and surrounding lymph nodes are the only areas that show cancer at this point. It is possible that the interior and exterior linings, although inflamed, may also not be involved. The upper lobe is showing clouding, which along with increasing white blood cells, may indicate pnuemonia still in this part of the lung due to the decrease airflow. This may well be the reason she is feeling so sick and causing so much breathing/caughing problems. The antibiotics she took in Texas made her so sick but, if they can get her on an iv perhaps it will be better.

Mom has only had one biopsy performed so far and that was the one done in Texas. If you recall, this was performed by going thru the nasel passage, down the bronchial tube to the lung. As they hit an obstruction her heart began to race and they were forced to stop with less samples then they wanted. With starting out with a lesser sample and then sending a portion of the sample back to Illinois, there simply is not enough material to perform a definative conclusion as to the cancer type. Therefore, a new biopsy has been scheduled for next Monday. This will be performed much like the proceedure to drain her lung. They will use a needle, pin pointed at the areas they want samples from. They believe they will get exactly what they need and then be able to offer a complete diagnosis by next Thursday. Ahh, one more test. One more follow up visit. No wonder the poor lady is so wore out. I feel so sad for her. But, she is a trooper, and she will get through this too.

Also, they will try again tomorrow morning to get the operation done to install the medi port in her upper chest. Take care, Jim

No Surgery Today

About 2 a.m. this morning Mom had another episode of her heart racing. Dr. Hough was in this morning to see her and has increased her dosage of the medicine to prevent this. The surgery to install the port in her chest has been postponed for now. Today will be a day of rest and recovery.

So what's causing this? It is due to high blood pressure. When the pressure gets too high the upper chamber spikes very high and the lower chamber tries to compensate causing the two to get totally out of synch. So what causes the high blood pressure? Medication, thyroid, even the cough medicine she takes has codine, which can do it. Fortunately, she was in ICU at the time and they were able to detect it right away, vs. being at home trying to shower as she was yesterday morning.

She is awake and alert at this time and was able to receive holy communion just a little while ago. They were able to take her down to perform the brain scan this morning also. After, she was able to get some toast and coffee. Tim said he noticed she looked much better after getting something in her stomach.

Today is also the day we are to hear back from her oncologist Dr. Morar. We are scheduled to have a phone conference with her at 2 p.m. to learn the final results of the cancer test. Hopefully we will learn exactly what she has and what the recommendation is for treatment. Mom will then have plenty of decisions to make. I will post later to let you all know what we find out. Thanks for all the feedback on here, I'm glad that this is comforting to you all. Jim

911 - Ambulance Ride - ER Room - Admitted

Today was supposed to be the day that Mom had surgery to install the port in her chest. Instead, she ended up at the hospital by ambulance. Peg spent the night last night and Mom woke up to get ready for her surgery by showering with an antibacterial soap. She started to have problems while in the shower. She was unbalanced, nausious and as light headed as she has been yet. Pat and Peg both were there and when Mom nearly passed out they realized they needed help and dialed 911. At the hospital hooked up to the monitor her heart rate was all over the place. Spiking in the upper chamber and trying to catch up in the lower. She was given a shot and an IV and after awhile they were able to stabilize her.

She was later admitted to ICU and was resting well by afternoon and all vitals seemed to be back to normal. This was quite a scare for all including Mom. As she said to me "This just is not the way it is supposed go". Fortunately, the doctor said her heart is actually well for a woman her age. He has her on medication to control this and does not expect her to experience this type of episode again.

Just got the call that the doctors believe she is well enough now to go ahead and have the port put in tomorrow morning at 11 a.m. This is not a lock yet, all depends on how she is in the morning and if the hospital can get it all worked out. Lets all just pray that tomorrow is a better day for her than today. Take care, Jim

Non Emergency - Emergency Room Visit Today

Peg called at 11:15 this morning to ask that I help Karen take Mom to the emergency room. Since Mom had the procedure Thursday to remove the fluid from her lung, she has had steadily increasing pain in her left side and back. It got to the point of being unbearable. Also, she started experiencing some nausea and dizziness late last night and again this morning.

After contacting an oncologist the suggestion was made to take her to the hospital to have her checked out. It says a lot that she was more than willing to go. The short story is that sometimes this sort of pain is not uncommon after a fluid drain like she had.

All her vitals were checked and x-rays taken to make sure the lung had not collapsed. She was given a shot for her pain and after a few hours she was back home resting again. The doctor on call informed her to absolutely return if the pain gets to this level again. She still has a persistent cough and it is then that her pain is the worst.

At this point she is still on schedule to have her surgery tomorrow morning to install the port in her upper chest. Peg is going to stay over night tonight and Karen is staying with her tomorrow night. Say an extra prayer tonight that her surgery tomorrow goes well. Take care, Jim

Doctors today and tomorrow, surgery Monday

Mom met with Dr. Proehl today at St. James. He will be performing the surgery next Monday to install the port in Mom's upper chest. He also had her get a chest x-ray while she was there. Mom found him to be quite humorous. He asked her "How many kids did you have!?" Mom said 12. He said "Didn't you figure out what was causing that?" "My wife and I figured it out after just 2." "First one was because we used the same toilet seat, and the second one was because we washed our underwear together!" That sure made her comfortable I bet. Lol.

Tomorrow morning Pat is taking Mom to Bloomington to the Cancer Center where Dr. Morar will drain the first liter of fluid from her lung. I sure hope that eases her discomfort and cough. She is having some pain in her side and back. Dr. Morar is sure this is because of the fluid buildup. Mom is finding it difficult to wear her bra. I said "Hell Mom just leave the damn thing off." She just chuckled and said Ach!

The good, The bad, and The ugly......

Mom had plenty of company today at her appointment with Dr. Morar at the Cancer Center in Bloomington. Pat, Peg, Clutch and Tim all rode along and sat through the hour long explanation of the results of last weeks tests.

These tests had a twofold purpose. First, to check all other vital organs for additional hot spots and to check the extent of cancer in the lungs. Second, to create a benchmark for future comparisons when new tests are performed. This will identify if treatments are working.

The good news is that no additional cancer was detected outside of the chest area. The bad news is that her cancer has encompassed a large percentage of her left lung and does include the lymph nodes in the area of the left lung along with her bronchial tube. Additionally, it is affecting the inner and outer lining of the lung. The ugly part is that they still are unsure as to what type of cancer it actually is. (Dr. Morar and her pathologist are communicating with the pathologist in Dallas who originally diagnosed it as spindle cell carcinoma, at this point they are only sure it is non-small cell because the sample they are working with was too small.)

Next Tuesday at 2 p.m. Dr. Morar will call with a final word as to what type it is for sure and therefore what type of chemotheropy. At any rate chemo will start in 2 weeks. Before that begins she wants Mom to have a few more things done. One is a brain scan, this is due to the dizzyness she experiences, also precautionary as historically that is where lung cancer travels. Second, she wants to remove some of the fluid built up in and around the lung. This should help her breath easier and can be done repeatedly as they can only remove approximately a liter at a time without causing too much stress. Third, they want to install a port in her upper chest that will be used not only for the chemo treatments but also for blood draws, etc. This will avoid using needles in her arms.

Further, Dr. Morar explained that soley using radiation as a treatment is not an option. She may use some pin point radiation if she believes it can shrink the tumor and provide some breathing relief. She expects to order new ct scans two months into treatment and compare results.

This is pretty much what I learned from lunch with all that attended. If I missed anything I'm sure they can add in the comments below. Take care and I'll let you know what we find out with next Tuesdays phone call. Jim

Friday's oncologist appointment

Peg and Becky took Mom to St. James Hospital last friday for Mom's first appointment with Dr. Morar. They all reported that she was very a very nice person. Dr. Morar reviewed all of the test results from Texas and she disagreed with the original diagnosis of spindle cell carcinoma. She believes this is a large cell cancer and that she has had it for quite some time. She drew diagrams and explained that the mass in her lung is located at the main entrance to her left lung. This is obstructing air flow into the left lung and is responsible for the shortness of breath. She further stated that the swollen lymph nodes in the lung are probably cancerous and therefor she believes this cancer is stage 4. The lower portion of the left lung shows thickening and fluid buildup.

She ordered 3 tests for this week. Today Mom went back to the hospital for blood work. Tomorrow she will go back at 1:30 for another CT Scan. This should take approximately 2 hours. Thursday at 9:30 a.m. Mom is scheduled for an appointment at the Cancer Treatment Center in Bloomington at 9:30 a.m. for a PET Scan. This will scan her from chest to groin and check for 'hot spot' such as the swollen lymph nodes in the chest to determine if they are indeed cancerous and if the chest is the primary location of the cancer.

Next Tuesday Mom will go back to Bloomington to get the results of these test and hear recommendations for treatment. Dr. Morar also indicated that she will want CT Scan's every 2 months. I will post to this blog after next Tuesday's appointment to let you know what we find out. I apologize for not getting this out sooner as I know everyone is concerned. We all had a great Easter weekend and Mom was so excited to see everyone. Karen's son Christopher made it home Friday from Afghanistan and was able to celebrate Easter with us, much to Mom's satisfaction. She was so happy to see him home safe and sound.

Take care and look for more info after next Tuesday's appointment. Jim

Theres no place like home, Dorothy!

Tim, Maria and the kids were in town this weekend so we got together for pizza at Mom's last night. She has been feeling better for a few weeks now and being home is agreeing with her. Her healing process from pneumonia started in Texas and made great progress there, and after being home this week I have to say it's hard to tell she has been sick. She looks just great! Lets pray for continued success and a good prognosis next week at her oncologist appointment.

Mom's Appointment with Dr. Hough Yesterday

Mom's appointment with Dr. Hough went very well yesterday, Tuesday. She does tend to get out of breath very easily when she has to walk a ways {of course she didn't want to use her new wheels}, and when she has to talk a lot. Dr. Hough had the nurse put a breathing device on her finger to see how her breathing was, and it read fine. It's just the obstruction in her lung that gets her out of breath. He took her blood pressure and it was just fine. He just wants her to get to the oncologist asap and that will happen next Friday. I will be going and so will Pat if Becky doesn't get here by then. The Oncologists name is Dr. Morar and the appointment will be out at the hospital. I'll let you all know what's going on after the appointment. Take care and love to all. Peg

Welcome Home Mom!

Peg and I arrived in Dallas Weds night around 10:30 pm where Mom was waiting up at Chuck & Teri's house. It was so good to see her. She looked good for going through what she has, no surprise with all the good care she had gotten while she was there. We had a great Thurs and Friday in Dallas and took off for the trip home at 7:30 am Sat. We all had some concerns about how well Mom would make the trip, but I have to say she actually traveled 100% better than any of us thought.

We arrived last night at 11:00 pm and were all tired. We made frequent stops for gas, food and bathroom breaks. Half way we took a 2 hr break in Joplin Mo. to feed the local economy at the Downstream Casino. Mom was the only one to do 2 things there......get to try out her new wheels (wheelchair) and Win! Peg and I weren't so lucky.

Well, Mom's home and doing fine. She insist that she can take care of herself now and I believe she can for the most part. She won't get away with that totally as everyone is ready to give her a hand with anything she needs. She just needs lots of rest still so lets give her plenty of space.

I'll say on behalf of the entire family Thank You to all the Dallas crew for the care you've given Mom. We will never forget it.

Oncologist Appointment April 10th

Peg reported that Dr. Hough's office notified her that they have set up an appointment with the oncologist on April 10th. Becky will be in town to go to this appointment with Mom and Peg. I'm not aware yet of where or with whom for this appointment, but will let you know when I find out.

Dr. Hough appointment Tuesday

Peg has schedueled an appointment for Mom for next Tuesday with her primary care physician Dr. Hough (pronounced as Huff). He should then make the referal for her to see an oncologist.

Heading to Dallas Tomorrow

Peg and I (Jim) are leaving wednesday to drive to Dallas to bring Mom home. As Peg says that she is usually on her way to work at 5:30 am every day, this is the time we should leave. I told her that would probably require a wake-up call.

Our intent is to stay until Saturday and start our drive home. Mom has informed us that she will need to stop every 2 hours to stretch her legs because of the doctors fear of blood clots. She also made us aware that there are casinos approximately every 2 hours along the way.........hmm, what a coincidence.

At the latest we should be back in Pontiac by Sunday afternoon.